% Amitrans

This is actually a really difficult question to answer. Only you can
know. We plan to later add a bunch of info here about how other people
realize they're trans, and links to stories about people's
experiences, which may help. For now, this section is more or less
empty.

Someone did make this site, which might be useful to you: (it's not a
questionaire): <http://amitransgender.com/>

Here is [a map of gender-diverse
cultures](http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/content/two-spirits_map-html/).

[Yes, you are 'trans enough' to be
transgender!](http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/content/two-spirits_map-html/)

NOTE: If you find questionaires online, please remember that they are
all BULLSHIT. OK?

**IT'S OK TO BE TRANS!**

Don't feel like a woman or a man? Do you feel like you are neither or both, or that you switch between them, etc?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You could be *non-binary*. We have information about this scattered
throughout the website.

[3 Simple Steps to Recognisizing the Existence of Non-Binary
People](http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/11/recognizing-non-binary-people/)

Are you intersex?
-----------------

Intersex people can also be trans. Remember, being trans simply means
that you disagree with or do not fully agree with your assigned birth
gender.

Reading material
----------------

There are some books on the topic, which may help you. Note that some of
them only cover particular types of trans people, e.g. only tran women.

### Whipping Girl

This is a very good book, and is often used in Gender Studies courses at
universities these days. Leah read it when she was questioning herself.

### Gender Outlaw

Another good book.

You can probably find these books on Amazon or something, or at your
local library maybe. Or\... on some other place on the internet,
perhaps. E.g. eBook.

### The Null HypotheCis

An article on the web, which may be useful for those who are still questioning:

[The Null HypotheCis](https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/)

You might be asking questions like\....

How did I not know?
-------------------

In short, you are a victim of an extreme form of propaganda and
brainwashing that enforces belief in what we call the *gender binary*.
This is the idea that there are only 2 genders (male and female) and
that there is no variation between them or that people can't switch
between them. You probably weren't taught about transgender issues in
school at all, and nobody in your family or social group told you about
it. You may have simply stumbled on it by accident and realized that it
answered all of your questions; before now, you knew you were
*different* but you didn't know why.

You were born, and you were told you were &lt;insert gender&gt;. You
were then given toys, friends and a social upbringing in that gender
that the doctor chose for you.

The doctor decided your gender based on your genitalia. This is a common
- and wrong - practise.

Society taught you that only men and women exist. It probably didn't
teach you about the existence of non-binary people (if you came out to
yourself as non-binary, for instance).

You were taught to live as a man, or to live as a woman.

You felt weird. You felt different. You were unhappy, and you didn't
know why. It may have been mild enough that you were able to ignore it.

*You may have been aware at a younger age, but your brain suppressed it.
When the brain detects danger, it shuts itself down to protect you from
harm. Your gender was incompatible with your body, and you suppressed
it.*

You were repressed. You never learned about gender dysphoria (or gender
euphoria) at school. Your school probably only taught you that men are
men, women are women and that they make babies.

A world was pulled over your eyes, which you did not belong in, but you
were able to cope.

Until now.

[This article explains the problem in a lot more
detail](http://www.tranarchism.com/2010/11/26/not-your-moms-trans-101/)
- from birth, you were forced (yes, forced) to fit into a certain binary
gender, probably based on your genitalia. If you were unlucky, the
doctor might have seen that you were intersex with ambiguous genitalia
and they might have decided to perform surgery on you to "fix" you (in
other words, mutilate you).

How can I be trans if I realized so late?
-----------------------------------------

Contrary to what you might have otherwise heard, most trans people
actually don't realize they're trans until they're in their 20s, 30s
or 40s or older. Some people realize when they're in their 70s.

A few realize in teens. Some repress it, and others don't and then try
to cope.

Most people don't realize that they're trans before teenage years.

There are all kinds of triggers that lead to a person realizing that
they're trans.

This can result in extreme euphoria, for some individuals, because for
the first time in their life they finally understand their feelings and
finally feel at peace knowing who they are.

And then the adventure begins\...

What if this is just a sexual fetish and I'm not actually trans?
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Even if it's just a fetish, that's OK and you can change your body
however you like. There's no shame in any of it.

Actually, it's normal for people, whether cis, trans, man, woman,
non-binary or otherwise, to feel sexually aroused with themselves
sometimes. It's called autogynephilia. It's normal.

*Some* people in the community will wrongly tell you that getting
aroused (e.g. when dressing) means you're not trans. This is *false*.

Cis people, especially women, feel this way about themselves a lot. A
cis man would be disgusted at the thought of being a woman, and a cis
woman would be disgusted at the thought of being a man.

Gatekeepers sometimes use autogynephilia as an excuse to try and
convince a trans person that they are not trans. Gatekeeping is
transphobic by nature.

If you are trans, then you are trans. Autogynephilia does not make your
gender identity any less valid.

But I like men/women/both, am I not just gay/bi? Maybe I'm just sexually frustrated?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actually, trans people can be heterosexual, gay or bi. It's totally
fine! Leah Rowe, the person who wrote this paragraph, is bisexual and
trans(MtF).

[Sexuality and gender identity/expression are NOT the same
thing!](sexuality.md)

What if I'm just autistic / have aspergers syndrome / are neurologically diverse?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of trans people when they are young start becoming unruly at
school, misbehaving a lot and throwing tantrums, etc.

A lot of trans people actually are autistic. A trans person can be
autistic, just like a cis person. It isn't really anything special.

It's possible to be autistic and still be trans.

On the other hand, difficulty interacting with people and social anxiety
and discomfort in public, shutting down etc, can be caused by dysphoria
too.

Many parents try to convince their child that they are just autistic and
not trans, after their children come out. Parents: please don't. You
might screw your kid up. Let them explore their identity, OK?

But I dont have dysphoria. How can I be trans?
----------------------------------------------

Actually, this is OK. Not all trans people suffer gender dysphoria. Some
people only have gender *euphoria*

We have a [page documenting this](gender-euphoria.md).

I've already been diagnosed as neurologically or functionally diverse. Am I still trans?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Trans people can have mental health conditions, just like cis people.
Cis people do not have a monopoly on mental health conditions!

People with schizophrenia are often accused of being dillusional or
possibly confused when they come out as trans. *This is disgusting.
Schizophrenia has nothing to do with gender identity, nor does any other
mental health issue, and being transgender is not a mental health
condition!*

And the classic question\...

What if I'm not trans?
-----------------------

Cis people don't realize they're trans, because they're not trans. If
you're *worried* that you might not be trans, then to be honest you
probably are, but it's always good to question yourself and be sure.
There is no rush to do anything, unless you want to or need to.

If you find yourself questioning your gender and feel like the one the
doctors assigned you is false, then you probably are.

**Only you can know whether you're trans.**

If you later find out that you're not trans, then it doesn't matter!
Transition is mostly reversible, despite what many people say.

You might come out to yourself as binary trans (trans man or trans
woman), and if you later discover that you're *not trans*, it could be
alternatively that you are non-binary. It's actually very common for
people to come out as trans man/woman, but then later realize that
they're non-binary. This is OK!

It's OK to explore yourself, really! You don't have to be trans! You
don't have to be cis either! Just keep an open mind, and keep exploring
your identity, your life and your place in the world. You will surely
find the answers, but you have to dig deep into yourself.

Part of coming out to yourself as trans is (in many cases) undoing a lot
of psychological trauma suffered over the years, and undoing a lot of
repression. You will likely be *tripping* over yourself, for many months
or years.

It can be scary to come out to oneself. For the first time in your life,
you're being honest with yourself and truly exploring yourself. The
best thing to do is to try to be calm. You'll be surprised what you
find, when you really look inwards on yourself.

